Life is All, Part I: Allons-y Alonso, Chapter 6

[amuly]

Title: Life is All Part I: Allons-y Alonso Chapter 6
Pairing: Jack/Alonso, past Jack/Ianto
Word Count: 2,505
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Jack and Alonso are on their way to the 456’s home planet; Alonso has reservations
Warnings: Fighting, Ianto!angst, Alonso!mistreatment (pretty severally, though this should be the worst of it)
A/N: Youch. I know. So, here’s Alonso making an attempt to grow some balls. This is pretty much the high point of treating Alonso badly, things begin to improve after this chapter.

Previous Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, & 5

            Jack adjusted the burn of the engines as they broke free of orbit and entered interplanetary space. A few more hours and they’d be in interstellar space; he’d get to really open up the engines then. Then it was only a few more hours after that before they reached Iucundia. Less than a day, and he’d have his revenge. For Ianto.

            After checking to make sure the engine indicators were all on, Jack left the cockpit. Maybe he’d grab a snack, check his weapons, get that set up and ready to deploy.

            “Jack.”

            Jack shoved his hands into his trouser pockets. A stubborn Alonso was standing in front of him, with one of his recently procured depth charges in hand. “What exactly are you planning to do when get to Iucundia?”

            Jack wanted to sigh, but instead kept steely eyes on the young man. “What exactly do you think?”

            “Jack, if you’re going to blow up their atmospheric control center…”

            “Weren’t you the one who told me about that?”

            “…then you’ll kill everyone on the planet. That’s genocide!”

            Jack stared at Alonso for a moment, considering. He took a single step forward: not too close, but enough to just be on the outer edge of Alonso’s personal space. “And what they tried to do to Earth? What they did to your planet centuries ago? Alonso, they wanted our children. Millions of them. To use as drugs.”

            Alonso sputtered, and Jack could see him floundering for an argument. The worst part was, Jack knew the arguments against what he was doing – he just didn’t care. And he certainly wasn’t going to give Alonso the arguments against him. “But the whole species? With no trial or due process…it’s wrong, Jack.”

            “Have you ever heard of the Daleks?”

            That gave Alonso pause. Jack breathed a sigh of relief: he had, even if it was just in the form of fairy tales or ghost stories. Good. If Alonso had heard of the Daleks, then Jack could use the analogy (improper as it might be) to justify himself. “Just…stories. Wasn’t sure if they were real.”

            “They’re real. And whatever you heard, the reality is probably worse.” Jack took another step closer. He watched as Alonso leaned back, almost imperceptibly. “They have no remorse, no empathy. They are designed for one thing only: to exterminate all forms of life that are not Dalek. If even one is left, they can rebuild their entire empire, and destroy the universe. In the face of such insanity, the only answer is genocide.” Jack paused. He waited as Alonso stood there, eyes darting around, trying to think of a response.

            “What about Ianto?”

            Jack stiffened. Alonso’s eyes met his for the first time during the conversation, defiant. Jack turned away and headed toward his small bedroom.

            “Jack, no. You cannot walk away this time. What about Ianto? Would he-”

            “These things are the reason Ianto is dead!” Jack spun around, gripping Alonso’s arms like a vice. Fear flashed across his face, just for a second, but it was enough for Jack to shove him away and turn back toward the bedroom.

            “But would he have wanted you to do this? To get so caught up in revenge, to commit genocide?”

            “Ianto was the one who made me stand up to them! Ianto was the one who refused to let them off, who held the 456 accountable for their actions!” Jack’s voice cracked. Fuck. Ianto…he knew, he heard Ianto’s stern Welsh voice in the back of his head, telling him what he really should be doing, how he really should be treating Alonso, how he should just continue on and… “Ianto, he - Ianto-”

            Jack fell to the ground, gasping. It hurt. It hurt so much to remember him. Out of the corner of his eye, Jack saw Alonso drop down to the ground with him. “Jack, you need to think about this. You’re going to commit genocide because some aliens killed your boyfriend.”

            “He wasn’t my…I don’t know what…” Ianto wasn’t his boyfriend. They weren’t a couple. Ianto…he didn’t want that. He said he hated the word couple, just like Jack did. But Jack had just said that because he was looking out for Ianto. He didn’t want Ianto to get swallowed up by him, to be known as “Jack’s boyfriend”. Ianto was himself, his own person, not something only given definition by his relation to Jack. But now that was what Alonso knew him as. Instead of everything that he was.

            “Jack…” Alonso’s voice was soft, kind. Irrationally Jack found that even more grating. He wanted to fight, he wanted to get angry and hit and throw and feel something other than this pain. “If…if you feel like you have to do this, that the Iucunds really deserve it, like the Daleks…what can I do to help?”

            Jack felt a surge of anger, the likes of which he hadn’t felt since…since Ianto’s betrayal with Lisa. He leapt to his feet and shoved Alonso backwards with a single booted foot. “I’m going to commit genocide, and you’re asking what you can do to help? What’s wrong with you?”

            Alonso stared up at Jack from the ground, befuddled. “But…I thought…”

            “What? What did you think, Alonso? You think I wanted you to agree with me?”

            “I’m just trying to understand, to help…”

            Jack dropped down to his haunches, gripping Alonso’s shirtfront. He felt his face contort into a snarl, and he knew this was wrong. He knew he was treating Alonso poorly, he knew he shouldn’t be committing genocide…but no one was stopping him. Ianto was gone. “Why the hell are you still here, Alonso? You’ve followed me a quarter way around the galaxy, and for what? To help me do this? Do you have a secret vendetta against the Iucunds, is that why?”

            Alonso’s eyes were wide and scared. Jack could see the hurt in there as well, but he pushed the recognition aside, buried it deep, beneath the shroud of pain that Ianto’s death had left inside of him. “I…I dunno. I like you. I wanted to…to help. Have some fun, take care of you.”

            Jack pushed Alonso backwards, disgusted. He stood up and turned his back on the young man sprawled on the floor, but made no move toward his bedroom. That was it. The kid was just a stray dog, desperately searching for something, someone, to be loyal to. And the Doctor had made sure his search had ended with Jack. He must have thought that’s what Jack was missing, why Jack loved Ianto. The Doctor couldn’t have been more wrong, more blind.

            “You’re not taking care of me. Ianto took care of me.”

            “I know. He made you coffee, helped protect you, like from the Weevils…”

            Jack shook his head, laughing harshly. “That’s not how Ianto took care of me.” A nagging voice in the back of his head, a smooth, husky, Welsh voice was telling him that it wasn’t Alonso’s fault that he had gotten the wrong idea of what Ianto did for him. Didn’t exactly have the full story, did he, Jack? “Ianto stood up to me. He told me when to back down, and he told me when to stand up. He…” Jack drew in a shaky breath. “He made me a better man; was making me a better man.” He was always there, ready with a witty retort, or a harsh word, or just that considered silence, waiting for Jack to come to his senses, ready to guide him, shove him, force him if he didn’t.

            Jack turned and took one last look at Alonso. The boy still hadn’t gotten up from the floor, and had tears running down his cheeks. “You’re not him. You’ll never be him. No one could replace him, and no one ever will.” Alonso’s whole body shook a little bit, but Jack continued on, calmly. “This ship will arrive at Iucundia within the day. When it does, I’m going down there, and I’m destroying their atmospheric controls. I will kill every single one of the 456. It doesn’t matter to me what you do,” Jack walked past the prone Alonso, into the cockpit, “as long as you don’t get in my way.”

            Jack touched the contact, sliding the cockpit door shut between him and a weeping Alonso. He locked the door, then turned to look out the window. Within the day he would arrive, and he would kill every last one of them. For Ianto.

**

            Jack let up on the engine burn and set the little star hopper into high orbit around Iucundia. Alonso had given up banging on the door of the cockpit hours ago Thank goodness – he had started getting a headache around minute forty-five of the one-man siege. As he flicked through various scans on the planet, Jack took a moment to get a good look at it.

            It was cloudy. That pretty much summed up the entire wretched planet. It was just a light grey sphere of gas, floating through space. And somewhere on that sphere – Jack leaned over the console and checked the map projected onto the planet – up in the northeast corner, from where he was looking, was the atmospheric control system.

            Jack spun around in his chair and stared at the locked door separating him from the rest of the ship. He would have to open it, if he was going to get his supplies and set foot on the planet. It wasn’t like Alonso could stop him, either. But he’d rather not have to resort to hurting the kid in order to fulfill his mission. 

            He pressed his ear to the door, listening. Silence from the other side. Maybe Alonso fell asleep? He needed to go out there eventually; no use putting off the inevitable.

            Jack pushed the contact on his side, unlocking the door and sliding it open. Alonso was sitting with his back against the airlock, sleeping.

            Great.

            Ignoring him, Jack started getting his supplies together. Alonso had stashed the hypercube in an air duct, but Jack hadn’t spent centuries alive to not know where all the good hiding places were. He found it quickly enough, checking through it to make sure everything was still there. Pulling out the two gasmasks, Jack wrapped one around his wrist, then strode over to Alonso. He had to wake the kid up sooner or later.

            Without preamble he dropped the gasmask into the sleeping man’s lap. Alonso started awake, looking around wildly. He leapt up, the gasmask falling to the floor, unnoticed. “Jack! Listen, I know-”

            “Alonso.” Jack cut him off with a sweep of his hand. “I’m going out there, and I’m killing every last one of the 456. You can’t stop me, so don’t bother. I don’t want to hurt you.” The way he said the last sentence left the unspoken words hanging clearly in the air: But if I have to, I will.

            Alonso shook his head. “I know. I’m going with you.” Jack sighed. Just what he needed. “I want to help. You’re right, the Iucunds are evil. I’ll help.”

            Jack came to a decision quickly. If worst came to worse, he could just trade his life for Alonso’s. At least he knew he’d get his back. “Fine. Put on your gasmask: we’re going in hot.”

            Alonso bent down and began to fumble with the gasmask as Jack turned toward the cockpit. “Um, Jack?”

            “What is it, Alonso?” He didn’t have time for this right now. He needed to land at the atmospheric control center, plant the bombs, and get out, all as quickly as he could…

            “Do you…” Jack could feel Alonso creeping up on him. It made his shoulder blades itch. “Do you have a plan? I mean, what are we going to do once we get down there?”

            Jack didn’t look up from the controls. He needed to concentrate now: they hadn’t spotted him yet, but that didn’t mean they wouldn’t. The ship didn’t have any cloaking device, so it wasn’t like he was really flying under the radar. A stray eye his direction, and he’d be spotted. “Just land, plant the bombs, get out. In and out.”

            Something was niggling at the back of Jack’s mind. Something…something was off…what was it… “But, what if we have to fight? What if they try and stop us? They’ve got to have guards on the system, if it’s so important.” He couldn’t think with Alonso talking so much. Didn’t he ever know how to be quiet?

            “Just trust me, alright? Let me handle it.” The descent was going fine. No hailing signals, no one signaling at him to slow down and report himself. Well, that was sort of weird. He wasn’t that under the radar. Someone should have noticed them by now. Was it a trap? But it didn’t feel like one: usually traps made the hair on the back of his neck stick up. This didn’t have the same feel. What was with the radio silence, then?

            With a soft thump, Jack landed the star hopper five minutes later. Still no word from anyone on the planet: no hailing signals, no calls to identify, nothing. This was weird. Something wasn’t right.

            Jack pulled the two neutrino guns out from the hypercube, handing one to Alonso. The young man took it hesitantly; holding the gun like it might go off at any moment. Jack strode over to the door, then paused. He took a breath, held it, let it out. For a second, Jack felt like he was back in a war – any war, they all felt this way. The moment before they surged up from the trenches, before they made contact with the enemy: that was the tension he was feeling right now.

            He glanced back at Alonso. The young man looked like he was going to be sick, but his lips were pressed together in a determined line. Jack nodded at him, in what he hoped was a reassuring manner. “We’re going to do this as quietly as possible. Just in and out. We might not even have to fight anyone, alright?”

            Alonso nodded, then swallowed thickly. “Yeah. I’m alright.”

            “Okay. Just…” Might want to tell him about your ‘gift’ right around now. Probably a good time. Jack pushed aside the Welsh-tinted voice that was nagging him. “Just stay behind me, if anything starts to go wrong, alright? I’ll keep you safe.”

            For a moment their eyes locked, and Jack could see Alonso was thinking the same thing. He hadn’t kept Ianto safe; he hadn’t been able to protect him. How could he promise that to this young man, when he couldn’t even do it for Ianto?

            Jack suppressed the guilt, the shame. That’s why he was here: to get revenge, to put Ianto to rest. Jack strapped the gasmask on, Alonso copying him. “Alright. On three.” His voice came out muffled and low-pitched, but still intelligible. Jack turned to the door, hand hovering just about the contact. “One…two…three.” He pressed the contact, and the door swung open. The two men took their first steps out onto Iucundia.



Want more? Chapter 7, last chapter of Part I, here.