Pray the Gay Away: Chapter 11

[amuly]

Title: Pray the Gay Away: Chapter 11
Pairing: Sirius/Remus
Word Count: 1,410
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Remus' parents send him to a Christian camp designed to help him control his “Same Sex Attraction”. Once there, Remus finds himself rooming with the devilishly handsome bad-boy, Sirius Black. Will he give in to temptation? Could the attraction he feels for Sirius be more than physical? Non-Magical 1970s AU
Chapter Summary: The next morning doesn't dawn so pleasantly.
Warnings: descriptions of abuse
A/N: Sorry for the mini-hiatus! Back on track, now. One more chapter left, then an epilogue.

Previous Chapters:
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10

 

 

Languid and happy, Remus snuffled himself into Sirius' neck. He closed his eyes against the sunlight just coming in through the window and squeezed tighter at the boy lying next to him. Sirius tightened his grip on Remus in his sleep, and Remus sighed. He was obscenely comfortable. He couldn't remember what had woken him, but he was sure it couldn't be more important than lying here with Sirius.

Remus scrambled and cried out as shouting filled the tiny cabin. Hands grappled at the bedsheets surrounding him, and clothes were flung in his face. In all the confusion, Remus felt Sirius clawing at him, tugging at his arm, leg, ribs: whatever he could reach.

“No! No! Don't-”

Two camp counselors bodily dragged Remus from Sirius, standing between the two boys as they shoved clothes on them. Remus' heart was racing, and he only managed to glimpse a snatch of hair or piece of tanned skin of Sirius as they were hauled out the door and toward Pastor Philip's office.

Sirius was still shouting and cursing behind him as they were frog-marched across the grounds. Remus himself could barely stumble enough to propel his body forward. Blind panic had taken control of his nervous system, and it was all he could do to keep his heart from exploding out of his chest and his feet moving forward. He felt like a rabbit caught in the jaws of a fox: the most he could do was play dead.

Sirius' shouting was abruptly silenced as he was coerced into Pastor Philip's office and the door shut tight. Remus found himself bereft in the silence, with only his fear and one disgusted camp counselor for company. He couldn't tell how long had passed – a minute? An hour? - before the door swung open, Sirius running into his chest. “It's all my fault, it's all my fault.”

Remus' arms hung loosely at his sides as Sirius pled desperately into his ear.

“Tell them it was me. Tell them I forced myself on you. That you didn't want to, but I blackmailed you, or hurt you. You have enough bruises to pretend like I did. Tell them, Remus. Tell them I hurt you...”

Remus' eyes were full of tears, but he managed to gasp out one sentence as he was being dragged away from Sirius. “You'd never hurt me.”

**

Pastor Philip's eyes were cold as he assessed Remus. He didn't say a word, just looked Remus up and down where he stood, shivering and feeling smaller and more detestable than a smear of grime on a wealthy man's loafers. Coming to a decision, Pastor Philip picked up his phone and steadily dialed a number. With every snick of the rotary wheel, Remus winced. It sounded too close to the snick of a leather belt drawn slowly across his father's palm.

The blood rushing through Remus' ears was so loud he couldn't hear the conversation Pastor Philip had with his father. Sound only came back with the click of the receiver back into its cradle, as Pastor Philip's cold eyes turned their focus back to Remus.

“Your father is coming to pick you up. Pack your things. We expect him by lunch.”

Remus felt sweaty. Too sweaty. His vision tunneled, until all he could see was the phone on Pastor Philip's desk. He felt the world rushing at him, and then everything went black.

**

Remus awoke on his bed – his own bed – he wasn't sure how long later. The sunlight streaming into the cabin window told him it was long after sunup, sometime mid-morning. Sirius was there, curled up in a ball on his bed.

“Remus?”

Coughs wracked Remus' body, until he found himself heaving up bile in the tiny bin by their desks. He groaned, face pressed against the rim of the bin. He never wanted to lift his head again. Never wanted to face his fate, which was just hours away, if not sooner.

“Remus?”

Shaking hands pressed against his back, encouraging Remus to slowly roll his head until he could see Sirius out of one eye. The other boy's face was tear-stained, and eyes wide.

“What...is he...”

“I'm going home,” Remus croaked. With great effort, he pushed the bin away from him and turned more fully toward Sirius. “Dad's...he's coming to take me home.”

Sirius' eyes widened, his hands gripping at Remus' shoulders painfully. “But...he can't. He'll...”

Shock gave way to panic, and tears spilled out of Remus' eyes. Sobs wracked his body as he found himself being pulled tight to Sirius' chest. He heaved against Sirius, crying so hard his eyes and chest hurt. His entire body was shaking, trembling like an autumn leaf. He couldn't think about what his father would do to him, knowing what he knew now. Belts and fists and boots wouldn't be enough to turn him right in his father's eyes, Remus knew. But he couldn't imagine what new method he might apply, now.

Sirius' hands felt steady in comparison to Remus' shaking on his back, stroking long, soothing lines down. As Remus' sobbing quieted enough for him to hear, he found Sirius hushing quietly against his ear. “I'm not going to let him,” he murmured. Remus closed his eyes against the feel of Sirius' lips pressing against the shell of his ear, warm breath brushing through his hair. His heart couldn't take feeling the way he did about Sirius and being so terrified of his father at the same time. “I'm not. I'm not going to let him hurt you again. I promised.”

Remus' sobs started up again as he laughed helplessly. “You can't protect me,” he moaned. “Not from him.”

Remus found himself being pushed away from Sirius' chest, the other boy staring into his eyes with a fierce, almost insane intensity. “I will.” Sirius' fingers dug into Remus' arms as he stared at him. “I'll...I'll...”

Remus sniffed, offering Sirius a shaky smile. He knew there was absolutely no hope in avoiding his punishment: at this point, he just wanted to survive. “You can't fight my father, Sirius.” He tried changing the subject. “Did they call your folks?”

Sirius' eyes narrowed, obviously not pleased with the segue. “They don't care. I've done worse, honestly.” He continued before Remus could. “But there has to be something...” he paused, and a strange light entered his eyes. “Run away with me.”

The only reaction Remus could have to that was to laugh, so he did. But Sirius' face had taken on a determined cast, eyes alight with a plan.

“No, Remus, honest. I've got a poofter uncle Alphard, and he's always offering up his place to me if I get sick of my parents. I just haven't yet 'cause...” he flushed, glancing away. “Well, it would mean giving up my inheritance. But Remus, I promised to make sure no one hurt you again. No inheritance is worth you going back home with your dad.”

Remus rolled puffy, wet eyes. “So what,” he croaked, “are we just going to ring him, ask him to come pick us up before my dad shows up? He'll be here in a matter of hours, Sirius.” His heart sank and trembling returned. Voice no more than a whisper, he murmured: “There's nothing we can do.”

“James!” The light of a plan hadn't left Sirius' eyes as he continued to clutch desperately at Remus. “We'll go over to the footie camp. James and Peter'll hide us, and tonight we can sneak out and use the camp counselors' phone.”

Something that felt dangerously like hope flared in Remus' chest before he could stamp it down. “It's not going to work, Sirius. The counselors will catch us, it's broad daylight, James and Peter probably aren't even in their cabin right now, and there's no guarantee your Uncle Alphard is willing to take in some strange boy you met at camp.”

Sirius' eyes were desperate. “Please, Remus.” He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Remus' lips. “Please. Let me try and protect you.” His hands swept through Remus' hair, eyes darting around his face. “Please.”

What little ability Remus had to refuse Sirius crumbled in the face of his sincerity.

“Okay,” he whispered. “What do we do?”


Continue onto Chapter 12.