amuly | Pray the Gay Away: Chapter 2

Title: Pray the Gay Away: Chapter 2
Pairing: Sirius/Remus
Word Count: 2,313
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Remus' parents send him to a Christian camp designed to help him control his “Same Sex Attraction”. Once there, Remus finds himself rooming with the devilishly handsome bad-boy, Sirius Black. Will he give in to temptation? Could the attraction he feels for Sirius be more than physical? Non-Magical 1970s AU
Chapter Summary: Remus experiences his first round of SSA therapy.
Warnings: mentions of prostitution
A/N: This “masculine touch therapy” that you'll see in this chapter: no shit, no joke, it's real. No, really. I read several undercover articles about these ex-gay camps, and this is lifted straight from one of them.

Previous Chapters:
1

Remus poked at his dinner, trying his best not to look guilty. He had done his best to think of gorgeous women as he had wanked, but flashes of grey eyes and silken black hair had intruded. Try as he might to convince himself that the long black hair in his fantasies belonged to some beautiful, exotic woman, Remus knew exactly whose warm mouth he had imagined sliding over his cock that afternoon.

“Remus!”

Remus jumped as Sirius slid into the seat next to him, bumping shoulders as he did.

“Noticed our window was closed when I went back to stash my cash before dinner. Have a good afternoon?” Sirius leaned into Remus, leer impossibly obvious.

Remus leaned away, poking at his food. “Having a wank doesn't make me...you know. Maybe I thought of girls.”

Shoveling food into his mouth, Sirius snorted. “Yeah, and I absolutely hate having one off in the shower with some gorgeous bloke.” Leaning in far too close again, Sirius pressed his mouth nearly to Remus' ear. “'Course, been a lack of gorgeous guys as of late...until you walked into my cabin.”

“Sirius!”

Remus shrank away from Sirius, trying to make himself as small as possible. Sirius just raised a hand in mock-salute to Counselor Martin, who was striding over to their table. “Martin! How's the Missus?”

Martin's grin was too-wide again, Remus noticed – especially so at the mention of his wife. “She's doing just fine, Sirius. Now, are you bothering Remus?”

“Managed to get the Missus pregnant yet?”

Remus' eyes flickered back and forth between Sirius and Martin. It didn't take a genius to see that this was a sensitive area of discussion for the counselor – nor did it take a genius to figure out why.

Sirius continued, seemingly unperturbed by the commotion he was making. “Besides, I was just introducing Remus to 'sharing masculinity'. Since we have a session tonight, I thought he ought to be prepared.”

Beneath the table, Sirius' foot kicked Remus'. He only hesitated a moment before speaking up. “He really was explaining it, Counselor Martin. I didn't want to look like an idiot tonight during the...uh...session.”

Martin's grin relaxed somewhat, and he nodded. “Alright then. Just...stay on your guard, Remus. Temptation is everywhere, and backsliding is sometimes easier than breathing.”

Remus nodded seriously. Sirius' foot was sliding slowly over his calf beneath the dining table.

As Counselor Martin left, Sirius turned back to Remus with an interested gleam in his eyes. “Nice job, Remus. I'll make a partner of you yet. And I don't mean partner the way Martin does.”

Sirius' foot was caressing the back of Remus' knee. He tried not to whimper, opting to turn back to his food and focus on eating instead. Fucking hell. Sirius Black.

That evening after dinner, Remus followed a chortling Sirius to the center cabin of the camp. All the counselors and campers were assembled there, paired off in little groups of six or so apiece. Remus let Sirius drag him over toward one of the groups – ignoring the touch of Sirius' strong fingers around his wrist and the swagger of Sirius' hips in those jeans.

"Sirius! Is this your new partner Counselor Martin mentioned?"

Remus suddenly found himself the subject of the scrutiny of four other boys his own age and one camp counselor he hadn't met yet. Sirius, perhaps sensing Remus' awkwardness, perhaps just butting in because that's how he was - brash and loud - spoke up. “This is Remus. He's seen the error of his poofter ways and has decided to be cured!”

Remus bristled slightly at being called a “poofter”, but kept silent. That was, after all, the reason he was here.

Sirius' sarcasm didn't go unnoticed by the camp counselor, who pressed his lips together, but seemed to come to the decision to ignore Sirius in favor of Remus. He gathered that Sirius acted like this often enough that such behavior drew little attention from the staff.

The counselor turned toward Remus, smiling warmly. This man had dark brown hair and brown eyes. He seemed a touch more tolerable than Counselor Martin, but there was still something off about his smile. Like he was trying to hard, or it almost had an edge of desperation to it. Remus was beginning to realize most of the men, and some of the boys, around the camp had the same desperate hint to their smile. With a shudder, Remus had a flash of an image of himself sporting that same smile. The thought unnerved him. “I'm Camp Counselor Liam James, but you can call me Counselor Liam. Counselor Martin told me Sirius had already explained to you the basics of what we're going to do here at dinner?"

Remus' mind immediately went back to Sirius' foot rubbing against his leg at dinner, and the hand that tried to creep up his thigh. Remus had squirmed away from the hand, pushing it forcibly aside at one point. He hadn't pushed aside the foot. That lingered, rubbing against the back of his knee and calf. Remus had been too weak to push it aside.

In response to Counselor Liam, Remus nodded. Slowly. “He said...about reclaiming 'lost masculinity'?”

Counselor Liam's smiled eased into something a little more genuine. “That's right, Remus. See, the feelings that you have for other men are only there because you don't feel masculine enough. Here at SSA rehabilitation camp, we help you regain that masculinity through a few different methods: sports, acting-therapy, studying the Word, and – as you'll see here tonight – through transference of the masculine touch.”

Liam turned to two of the boys who were standing off to his side. “Lucius? John? Why don't you two demonstrate for Remus one way to transfer masculinity to your fellow campers?”

“Luscious Lucius.” Sirius' breath was hot against Remus' ear, and he started in surprise. Turning back to glance at Sirius, Remus was only treated to an eyebrow waggle and a head nod. He turned back to the two boys, agreeing in some dark corner of his mind with Sirius – Lucius was quite luscious.

The blonde-haired boy – Lucius – sat down on the ground with the brown-haired boy – John. Counselor Liam indicated everyone else should sit, so Remus followed suit – avoiding being pulled into Sirius' lap at the last second with some careful wriggling. Sirius pouted but shifted closer, bumping their knees together. Remus decided to leave him that bit of contact – just to appease Sirius, of course. He'd rather not be touching the other boy at all. Of course.

To Remus' astonishment, Lucius sat in back of John, spreading his legs out so that John could sit between them. When they were plastered firmly together, chest-to-back, Lucius wrapped his arms around John and squeezed him tight. Remus was fairly certain his mouth was hanging open. This was supposed to not be gay?

Counselor Liam was saying something, and Remus hurried to focus on it. “-what we call the 'motorcycle' position. Lucius is sending his masculinity to John through this affirmative, masculine touch. In a moment they will switch, and the process will start again.”

Hesitantly, Remus raised his hand. “How...how does this...I mean...work?”

Counselor Liam's grin turned a little more plastic at the question. “What do you mean?”

“Well...” Sirius' knee was warm against Remus' leg. He tried not to attribute his boldness to the brash boy sitting next to him. “Well, besides the fact that they're hugging...” Lucius abruptly dropped his arms from around John and they scooted away from each other. Remus thought they might have both been hiding erections as they adjusted their positions on the floor. “If Lucius is here because he's lost his masculinity, and John is here because he lost his, where are we supposed to get it from?” The rest of the boys were staring at Remus with just a touch of awe, while Liam's face grew stormier and stormier. “I mean, if masculinity is on a zero to ten scale, and we all come in here with zero, then we're just passing zero back and forth. Even if we all had five 'masculine points', then by reversing the seating positions you're just trading it right back, so it's the same as when you started. It's a closed system. You can't gain in a closed system.”

Next to him, Sirius let out a triumphant whoop, slinging his arm around Remus' shoulder and pulling him in close. Remus swallowed hard and tried not to lean into Sirius' embrace. He didn't pull away, either.

Liam turned away from Remus for a moment, gesturing to some camp counselors who were idling against one wall of the cabin. One came over, and Liam directed him to Sirius and Remus. “Escort these two back to their cabin. These backsliders need to copy scripture until lights out. Start with Leviticus Eighteen.” The last part was directed at Sirius and Remus.

Remus blinked, mouth agape and Sirius' arm still heavy around his shoulder. “B-b-but...I'm not...I just wanted to understand how it works! I'm not trying to-”

Practically in his ear, Sirius snorted loudly before dragging him to his feet. “Oh no, Remi-dear. You questioned their methods. That makes you as much as a 'backslider' as gorgeous ol' me.”

Remus tried to protest again, but found himself being dragged away by Sirius and the nameless camp counselor Liam had ordered to escort them back to their cabin. Within minutes he found himself shut in with Sirius, a Bible in both of their hands and pages of blank copy paper at the two small desks against the back wall of their cabin. Remus stared blankly down at the Bible in his hand.

Next to him, Sirius was having no indecision as to his actions. He tossed the Bible on his desk, climbed up onto his bed, and lit a cigarette.

Remus stood in the middle of the room, hesitating between actually sitting down and writing the lines, and snuggling up on his bed with a piece of chocolate and trying to get to sleep.

Sirius – of course – made the decision for him. With a slow, sultry grace that surely no teenage boy should possess, he turned to Remus, quiet grin quirking at his lips as cigarette smoke curled out from between them. “Wanna try some masculine touch therapy in here?” His hand not curled around the cigarette patted at his bed, fingers stroking at the sheets slowly.

Remus knew this was a terrible idea. He absolutely, without a doubt, knew that he only wanted to climb up on that bed and hug Sirius because he was attracted to him. But what if it works? a traitorous little corner of his mind whispered. He had promised his parents that he would try everything to get cured, and do everything the camp counselors suggested. Maybe the masculinity sharing really did work? Through some sort of...exponential growth...thing?

With a skeptical look, Remus climbed up onto Sirius' bed. “I know what you're trying to do,” he growled.

Sirius' arms and legs quickly wrapped around him, drawing him into a far more gentle embrace than Remus might have imagined himself. Not that he had imagined what Sirius' embrace might have felt like. “I'm just trying to make my masculine energy spread into you.” Sirius' breath tickled at Remus' ear. A moment later, Remus felt the faintest touch of Sirius' lips there. “Don't you want my masculine energy deep inside you?”

Huffing indignantly, Remus tried to disentangle himself from Sirius. “Come on, shove off!”

Behind him, Sirius was laughing and grabbing for his flailing limbs, trying to hold him in place. “Hey, hey! Come on! I was just fooling. Relax.”

In increments Remus relaxed against Sirius, until they were sitting comfortably again with Sirius wrapped around Remus. “This feels...nice.” Remus suddenly tensed. “Is it supposed to feel nice?”

“Bollocksed if I know.” Sirius' lips were against Remus' neck now, chin resting on the crook of Remus' shoulder. “Parents just keep shoving me here anytime school's out. Haven't been magically cured yet. Still want to suck cock and fuck boys.”

Remus tilted his head back slightly. “But you don't sound like you've even tried. Maybe...if you tried harder...didn't get boys off in the bathrooms...”

Sirius scoffed, nudging his head against Remus' neck. “Yeah right. 'sides: how'd I get cigarette money other wise?”

There was a lull as Remus tried to think of a response to that besides “Don't smoke”. His mind drifted, and it was with a start that Remus realized Sirius was kissing and licking gently at his neck. To his chagrin, Remus realized that his body had taken notice while his mind had been wandering. “I...I have to...” He pulled away from Sirius, practically diving onto his own bed and yanking up the covers. Sirius was laughing behind him.

“Oh, come on, Remus! It's just a bit of fun!”

But Remus shook his head viciously, shoving his face into his pillow and crossing his legs tightly. “You might not care, Sirius, but I do. I came here to get cured.”

Remus could feel the change in Sirius' demeanor before the boy even spoke. The smell of cigarettes grew less cloying, and Remus figured Sirius had thrown his dying butt out of the window. “Fine. Be a closet case. But when you get tired of your hand and need a good blow in a week, don't come looking for me.”

With that, Sirius snapped the bedside lamp off. It was another hour before Remus could get to sleep.

Continue on to Chapter 3.

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I am so morbidly fascinated by this! And also glad that my church does not particiate in this kind of bullshit. Please continue!

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Sometimes Sexy, Always Slashy

Pray the Gay Away: Chapter 2

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